Grief is often thought of as something that comes in waves—those big, overwhelming moments that catch us off guard. But in my experience at Pachamama Tributes, I’ve seen that grief is just as present in the quiet, everyday moments. It’s in the spaces between—the times when the absence of a loved one feels especially heavy, yet life keeps moving forward.
In those everyday moments, it’s often the small rituals that provide the most comfort. These little acts of remembrance don’t require a big ceremony or formal occasion, but they carry deep meaning. They offer us a way to stay connected to the person we’ve lost while navigating the ongoing process of grief. I’ve seen how these simple practices can bring peace, even in the midst of pain.
Here are some ways you can create small, daily rituals that help you honor your loved one and bring a sense of healing to your everyday life.
1. Lighting a Candle: A Moment of Reflection
One of the simplest but most powerful rituals is lighting a candle in memory of your loved one. This small act can create a moment of calm and reflection in your day. Whether it’s in the morning as you prepare for the day ahead, or in the evening when things quiet down, the soft glow of a candle can serve as a reminder of the light your loved one brought into your life.
Lighting a candle doesn’t have to be tied to a particular occasion—it can be something you do whenever you’re thinking of them. It’s a ritual that doesn’t require words, but it provides a space to pause, reflect, and feel their presence.
Some ideas for incorporating this ritual into your daily life:
• Light a candle at the same time every day—maybe at breakfast or dinner—and take a moment to think about your loved one.
• Create a special space in your home with a candle, a photo, or a small keepsake that reminds you of them. Lighting the candle in that space can be a quiet moment of connection.
• If you have children, you might invite them to help light the candle as part of the ritual, allowing it to become a shared moment of remembrance.
2. Writing Letters or Journaling: A Safe Space for Expression
Grief is often full of emotions that are hard to put into words. One way to make sense of those feelings is through writing letters to your loved one or journaling about your experiences. Writing offers a safe space to express what you’re going through, without the pressure of needing to share it with anyone else.
Some days, the words might come easily—a memory you want to capture, or something you wish you could say to them. Other days, it might feel like you have nothing to write. That’s okay. The act of sitting down and allowing yourself to write, even if it’s only a few lines, can be a healing practice.
Here’s how you can start:
• Write a letter to your loved one about what’s happening in your life. Share the little things, as if you were still talking to them. This can help you feel like your relationship continues, even though they’re no longer physically present.
• Keep a journal where you can reflect on how you’re feeling day-to-day. It doesn’t need to be formal—just a space where you can process your thoughts, whether you’re sad, frustrated, or even finding moments of joy.
• If writing isn’t your favorite form of expression, consider drawing or creating a visual journal. Sometimes colors and shapes can convey emotions that words can’t.
These small acts of writing offer a way to stay connected to your loved one while also giving you space to process your emotions.
3. Creating a Daily Ritual with Nature: Finding Healing Outdoors
Nature has a unique way of grounding us, especially in times of grief. For many, spending time outdoors can feel like a natural way to stay connected to a loved one, especially if they enjoyed nature or had a special connection to a particular place.
Consider creating a daily ritual that involves spending time in nature, whether it’s taking a walk, tending to a garden, or simply sitting outside for a few moments of fresh air. These small, mindful moments can help bring a sense of peace and healing into your routine.
Here are some ideas for integrating nature into your daily remembrance:
• Take a walk at the same time each day, and as you walk, think about your loved one. If they had a favorite place—whether it’s a park, a beach, or a path through the woods—try to visit it when you can.
• Tend to a plant or garden in their honor. Planting something that grows and thrives can symbolize the ongoing connection you feel with them, even as life continues to change.
• Pick up a stone, leaf, or flower that reminds you of your loved one while on a walk, and bring it home to add to a memory jar or keepsake box.
By incorporating nature into your daily rituals, you create moments where grief and healing can coexist, allowing yourself to feel grounded while remembering your loved one.
4. Creating a Memory Space: A Special Corner for Reflection
Sometimes, having a physical space dedicated to your loved one can be incredibly comforting. This doesn’t have to be an elaborate shrine—just a small memory space where you can go to feel close to them. It could be a shelf with a few special items, a photo on a windowsill, or even a box where you keep meaningful tokens.
The beauty of a memory space is that it can evolve over time. You might add new things as memories resurface, or change the space with the seasons. This small ritual of tending to the memory space allows you to feel like you’re still caring for and honoring your loved one in a tangible way.
Here are a few ideas for creating a memory space:
• Place a photo of your loved one alongside a few small items that remind you of them—perhaps a piece of jewelry, a favorite book, or a keepsake from a trip you shared.
• Add fresh flowers or seasonal decorations to the space, making it a living tribute that changes throughout the year.
• Use the space as a place to sit quietly and reflect, light a candle, or simply spend a few moments thinking about your loved one.
This small but meaningful ritual creates a touchstone in your home, offering a place where you can go to feel connected to your loved one whenever you need it.
5. Celebrating Small Anniversaries or Dates
We often think of anniversaries as the big, annual milestones—birthdays, anniversaries of passing, or holidays. But small anniversaries or dates can also hold significance, especially if they remind you of a shared moment or tradition.
These dates might not be marked on the calendar, but you’ll know when they come around. Whether it’s the first time you visited a favorite place together, or a special memory tied to a certain time of year, recognizing these smaller anniversaries can be a gentle way to keep their memory alive in your day-to-day life.
Here’s how you can honor these small anniversaries:
• Do something they loved on that day—cook their favorite meal, watch their favorite movie, or visit a place that was meaningful to them.
• Light a candle or write a short note to mark the occasion, allowing yourself to reflect on what that day meant to you.
• Invite family or friends to share stories or memories tied to that specific date. It can be a way to come together and feel connected through shared remembrance.
These small, personal anniversaries offer a chance to honor your loved one in a way that feels intimate and reflective, reminding you of the joy and connection that still exist.
At Pachamama Tributes, I’ve learned that grief isn’t something we move on from—it’s something we learn to carry with us. By creating small, daily rituals, we can stay connected to our loved ones in a way that feels natural and comforting. These simple acts of remembrance can bring peace to the quiet moments, reminding us that, though they are no longer physically with us, their presence remains woven into the fabric of our everyday lives.