For many families, Thanksgiving is one of the few times each year when everyone comes together. It’s a moment of connection, tradition, and reflection—a time to celebrate the bonds of family and share gratitude for the people we hold dear. But for those who have recently lost a loved one, Thanksgiving can also feel bittersweet. The absence of someone important can leave an empty space at the table, making the day a mix of joy and grief.
I’ve often wondered if releasing a loved one’s ashes on Thanksgiving is something that some families choose to do. It makes sense in many ways—Thanksgiving is a time when families are physically together, perhaps traveling from far and wide to be present with one another. For families who have been holding onto the ashes, waiting for the right moment to say a final goodbye, this gathering may provide the perfect opportunity to create a shared, meaningful ceremony in the presence of those who matter most.
While it may not be a traditional time for releasing ashes, Thanksgiving offers a unique opportunity to blend remembrance with gratitude, transforming the day into a celebration of life as well as togetherness. Here are some reasons why families might choose to release ashes on Thanksgiving, and how it can become a beautiful and healing way to honor their loved one.
1. Thanksgiving is a Time for Family
Thanksgiving is, at its heart, a holiday about family. It’s a time when generations come together, sharing stories, meals, and traditions. For many families, it’s one of the few opportunities each year when everyone is in the same place at the same time.
For families who have lost a loved one, the holiday can be an emotional reminder of that absence. However, it can also be an ideal time to come together and release the ashes in a collective, supportive setting. Having everyone present allows for shared memories, mutual support, and the opportunity to honor their memory as a family.
By gathering in this way, you create a communal space for reflection and remembrance. It’s a chance to give each person a moment to say their own personal goodbye, while also acknowledging the collective loss felt by the entire family. The act of releasing the ashes together can bring a sense of closure, comfort, and unity during a holiday that’s traditionally centered on togetherness.
2. Blending Grief and Gratitude
Thanksgiving is a day dedicated to expressing gratitude for the people and moments that matter most. When you’ve lost a loved one, it’s natural to feel sadness alongside that gratitude, but the two emotions can coexist in a meaningful way.
Releasing the ashes on Thanksgiving allows families to embrace both grief and gratitude. It’s an opportunity to give thanks for the life your loved one lived—the memories, lessons, and love they shared—and to celebrate their presence even in their absence. It can be a way to honor their legacy while also acknowledging the grief that comes with losing them.
Many families find healing in expressing gratitude for the time they had with their loved one. During the ceremony, you might invite each family member to share something they’re thankful for about the person who has passed—whether it’s a specific memory, a lesson they taught, or the joy they brought into the family. This blend of thankfulness and remembrance can make the act of releasing their ashes feel like a celebration of their life.
3. A Ceremony That Reflects Family Traditions
Thanksgiving is rich with traditions—whether it’s gathering around the table for a shared meal, watching football, or cooking family recipes that have been passed down through generations. For some families, releasing the ashes on Thanksgiving could become part of a new tradition, one that feels natural within the context of the holiday.
Here are some ideas for how families might incorporate a ceremony of remembrance into their Thanksgiving gathering:
- A moment of reflection before the meal: Before sitting down to eat, take a few minutes to gather outside or in a special place where the ashes will be scattered. Each person could share a memory or say a few words about the loved one, then release the ashes together as a family.
- Lighting a candle at the table: If the ashes will be released in a different location, you might still honor the loved one’s memory by lighting a candle at the Thanksgiving table in their name. This can be a quiet reminder of their presence during the meal.
- Incorporating nature: Many families choose to release ashes in nature—a forest, by the water, or in a garden. You might plan a simple ceremony in a place that feels connected to your loved one’s spirit, either on Thanksgiving Day or during the weekend when the family is gathered.
By blending old traditions with new ones, you create a space where both the past and present are honored, making the ceremony feel like a natural extension of the Thanksgiving celebration.
4. Creating a Shared Memory
For families that choose to release ashes on Thanksgiving, the experience itself becomes a powerful shared memory. Instead of being a day marked solely by sadness, it transforms into a time of togetherness, reflection, and mutual support.
One family I worked with chose to release their loved one’s ashes by a lake near their home on Thanksgiving morning. After sharing stories and releasing the ashes, they returned to their house and sat down to a meal filled with both tears and laughter. What struck me most was how they turned a moment of deep emotion into something they could all share—finding comfort in being together and remembering their loved one as a family.
Thanksgiving has a way of bringing people closer, and releasing ashes during this time can be a way to mark the occasion with love and unity. It allows everyone to contribute to the ceremony in their own way, whether by speaking, lighting a candle, or simply being present. The memory of the ceremony becomes something that carries forward, becoming part of the family’s shared narrative.
5. Honoring a Legacy During a Time of Reflection
The holidays naturally bring about reflection—on the year that’s passed, on the people we miss, and on the moments we’ve shared. For families grieving a loss, releasing ashes during Thanksgiving can be a way to honor a legacy, ensuring that their loved one remains an integral part of the family’s story.
During the ceremony, you might take time to reflect on the impact your loved one had on the family—what they contributed, how they shaped your traditions, and the memories you hold dear. This reflection can be a powerful reminder that while they may no longer be physically present, their legacy lives on in the way the family comes together and celebrates Thanksgiving.
By focusing on their life and legacy, you transform the act of scattering ashes into a celebration of everything they brought to your family—the laughter, the lessons, and the love that endures.
At Pachamama Tributes, I’ve seen how meaningful it can be for families to release ashes during a time when everyone is gathered, sharing stories, and reflecting on what matters most. Thanksgiving, with its focus on family and gratitude, can be a time not only to mourn the loss of a loved one, but to honor their memory in a way that brings comfort and healing.
Whether you choose to release ashes on Thanksgiving itself or simply take a moment to remember your loved one during the holiday, know that their presence will always be with you, woven into the fabric of your family’s traditions and the love you continue to share.