Hello, dear ones,
Spring has always felt like a season of gentle beginnings. After months of stillness, the world starts waking up—flowers bloom, the air feels lighter, and everything seems to whisper that life continues. I often think about how grief moves in a similar way. In the beginning, it feels like winter—quiet, heavy, frozen in time. But slowly, almost without noticing, warmth returns. We find ways to carry our love forward, to honor the ones we’ve lost, and to let memory become something that nurtures rather than just aches.
Over the years, I’ve heard from so many families who wait for the right moment to scatter their loved one’s ashes. They hold on, not because they don’t want to say goodbye, but because they want it to feel right. And more often than not, when they do choose, it’s spring.
There’s something about this season that makes it feel like the right time—the renewal, the beauty, the way nature reminds us that nothing truly ends, it just transforms. If you’ve been waiting for that moment, maybe this spring is the time. Here are some thoughts on how to create a meaningful farewell ceremony, one that feels as natural and tender as the season itself.
1. Finding the Right Place
The place where you scatter ashes should feel right to you. It doesn’t have to be a grand destination or somewhere far away—it just has to be somewhere that speaks to your heart.
- By the water: There’s something deeply peaceful about releasing ashes into the ocean, a lake, or a quiet river. Water carries things forward, connects us all, and has a way of holding memory.
- In the forest: Beneath the trees, where the earth feels strong and steady, is a place of deep connection. Spring brings fresh leaves, soft ground, and the feeling that everything is part of something bigger.
- On a hilltop or open field: Letting the wind carry the ashes can feel like a final embrace, like setting something free with love.
- Somewhere close to home: A garden, a favorite park, even a quiet backyard—intimacy makes a place special. It’s about the meaning, not the scale.
No place is too simple if it feels right. If you close your eyes and picture yourself there, and it brings you peace, that’s your place.
2. Creating a Personal, Meaningful Ceremony
You don’t need a formal plan. Some of the most beautiful ceremonies I’ve heard about have been spontaneous, shaped by the moment and the love in the air. But if it helps, here are some small things you can do to make it special:
- Speak from the heart: You don’t need a prepared speech. Just saying their name, sharing a memory, or whispering something meant just for them is enough.
- Bring flowers or petals: Scattering petals along with the ashes adds beauty and symbolism. Marigolds, wildflowers, or their favorite bloom can make it feel more personal.
- Play music: A song they loved, a piece that brings comfort, or even just listening to the wind and birdsong can be part of the ritual.
- Use a biodegradable urn: At Pachamama, we’ve created urns that gently return to the earth and water, honoring both memory and nature. Knowing that their ashes will merge seamlessly with the world can bring a sense of peace.
A ceremony doesn’t have to be structured or complicated. It just has to feel true.
3. Letting Nature Be Part of the Moment
Spring is a season that invites us to listen and be present. Let nature hold you as you say goodbye.
- Plant something in their honor: A tree, a flower, something that will grow and change with the seasons—just like your love for them.
- Write a note and let the wind take it: A simple message, released into the air, can feel like sending something straight to them.
- Take a moment of silence: Stand in stillness, feel the warmth of the sun, the sound of leaves, the scent of flowers—let it all wrap around you.
Nature is gentle in how it reminds us that nothing is truly lost, it just takes a new shape.
4. Giving Yourself Grace in the Process
I know that letting go can feel impossible. Even when we’re ready, even when we know it’s time, there’s a part of us that holds on. That’s okay.
Some people release the ashes all at once. Others scatter a little at a time, over years, in places that hold meaning. There is no right way, only your way.
If emotions rise during the ceremony, let them. If you need to step away for a moment, do it. This is not about performing a ritual perfectly—it’s about love. And love is messy, raw, and beautifully human.
5. Carrying Their Presence Forward
The ceremony is just one moment, but their presence stays with you. Consider creating a small ritual that allows you to keep feeling connected in the days and years to come:
- Visit the place where you scattered the ashes, as a way of reconnecting.
- Keep a plant or candle at home in their memory.
- Write to them—letters, journal entries, little notes in a drawer. Talking to them doesn’t have to stop.
At Pachamama, I’ve had the privilege of hearing from so many families about how they’ve honored their loved ones. What stays with me the most is that no matter how or where the ceremony takes place, love never fades—it simply transforms.
A Season of Love, Remembrance, and Renewal
Spring teaches us that goodbyes are not endings, just transitions. If you’ve been waiting for the right moment, let this season remind you that love continues, that nature holds us, and that saying goodbye doesn’t mean letting go—it means carrying them forward in a new way.
If you’d like to share your experience, I’d love to hear it. What traditions or rituals have helped you honor a loved one? Leave a comment—I truly believe that in sharing, we help one another heal.
With love and warmth,
Virginia